If you’re a parent, or have ever been around a child for any length of time, you’ve most likely heard a conversation like this:
“Go clean your room.”
“It doesn’t matter why. Just do as you’re told.”
The result is usually a frustrated kid who doesn’t understand why he or she has to clean their room or follow through with any other responsibilities like feeding the family pet, picking up toys, doing homework, bundling up for cold weather, etc. From the parent’s perspective they could take the time to explain the reasons why if they chose. For instance; a clean room means a healthy environment in which to live. You won’t hurt yourself on toys in the middle of the night, you won’t step on anything resulting in broken toys, no trash or dirty dishes mean no science projects growing, fewer allergies and a made bed will help prevent dust and allergens on your bedding. Not to mention peace of mind of having a clean room, knowing where your things are, protecting the things you love by maintaining a special place for them, etc. As parents we COULD do that EVERY time we are faced with the question “Why” but usually, we just want the kid to follow directions without questioning the details. We know that eventually they will learn their lesson and come to understand why they should follow through with the life’s little lessons that we present to them. We expect them to trust that there IS a reason without having to fall into a five minute lecture outlining the specific results of every task they are asked to perform. Right? Just do as you’re told because having all of that explained to a five year old isn’t going to increase their desire to pick up the legos but stepping on those hard little plastic pieces enough will teach them “Hmm maybe I should pick those up.”
Ever wonder if that’s how our Heavenly Father sees us? As that little kid who keeps asking WHY every time we’re presented with having to do something that we don’t want to do? We seem to have this notion that knowing the REASON behind the lesson will make the lesson easier when the truth is we’re not going to want to go through it with any more eagerness than when we were still in the dark. There’s a new Mercy Me song that says:
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn’t come from the explained“
All too often, just because we know the why, doesn’t make the pain suddenly go away. Our trials are just as painful, our hurt just as deep but instead of accepting that God not only has a purpose but a purpose that has our best interest at heart we kick and scream like little kids demanding that we deserve an explanation for what we’re having to do. As parents, we want our kids to trust that we know what’s best for them without being second guessed on our every move. We want a close relationship with them so that they know we are never going to ask something of them that we don’t believe they can achieve and we don’t set expectations so high that they have no chance of reaching them. We are their parents and we love them. Sound familiar?
I spent years asking why my mom had to die when I was just thirteen. Then a few years later wondered why my dad was taken as well. I wondered why I didn’t have that picture perfect childhood, loving parents who would nurture me and prepare me for life. Now that Im older, I can look back and see that if those things hadn’t happened, if my earlier years hadn’t been such a struggle then not only would I not be who I am today but would not have been able to help others along the way because of my experiences. Nor would I appreciate the life that I have now without having those years to compare it to. I wasted a lot of time being hurt over my lot in life and in the end, none of the whys mattered. God used every single event in my life to help mold me into the person I was destined to be in His eyes so that He could use me in the intricately designed plan that He had designed.
It’s not easy to endure a struggle and have no understanding of it but neither is losing precious time and energy being angry or bitter because of our lot in life. If you’re in a place that has you holding on to emotions that are hindering your relationship with your Heavenly Father then I would encourage you to stop asking “Why” and simply go clean your room. He knows what is best for you. As Christians, we have the assurance that yes, God has a plan for each of us “and we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) We can also rest in the assurance of the day when the why will no longer matter.
“It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say “It’s over now”